Creating Change that Lasts: Powerful Tools for Hitting Your Target in 2024
Happy New Year! Have you made a resolution for 2024? How’s it going? Are there resolutions you've made in the past that you kept up with? If so, what made them stick?
Let's look at some powerful tools to make change stick. One tool we can use is to harness the power of a fresh start.
In her book How to Change: The Science of Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be, Katy Milkman talks about the impact of timing on our motivation to change. As it turns out, fresh starts are a natural time to want to make positive changes. Milkman researched the power of labeling a moment in time as a fresh start, and the results were impressive.
For example, one study sent employees postcards reminding them to save for retirement. The postcards were identical, but one batch pointed to a "fresh start" date, like the employee's next birthday, to start saving, and the other batch pointed to an arbitrary date to start saving. The "fresh start" postcards were 20 to 30 percent more effective in eliciting behavior change around saving for retirement. Milkman suggests we look for fresh start opportunities when deciding to make a change. Whether it's the new year, the first day of a new month, or the first day of a new week, harness the power of a fresh start!
Motivation to Change
Motivational interviewing (MI) is an approach to conversation that helps people find their intrinsic motivation to change. It was developed by clinical psychologists William R. Miller and Stephen Rollnick in the early 1980s. The origins of MI can be traced to Miller's work in the field of alcohol addiction and his search for more effective ways to help people in their pursuit of change.
I’ve worked in healthcare for over 15 years, and I have trained many healthcare professionals to use MI when talking with patients. At its core, MI focuses on the natural conflict (ambivalence) we feel when making change and helps us move through our conflict to find our motivation to carry out the change. MI's principles are helpful when thinking about change.
Ambivalence about change is normal. When we're trying to make a change, it's natural that there's a part of us that wants to change and a part of us that wants to stay the same. For example, on the one hand, we want to eat healthy, but on the other hand, fast foods are convenient and tasty at the end of a long day.
When it comes to making a positive change, we have to dig into our ambivalence. I'm fascinated with ambivalence and have written about the many ways it shows up in our lives. To recap, ambivalence is the simultaneous existence of conflicting feelings or thoughts about a particular change or behavior. We usually experience ambivalence when considering a behavior change.
Accepting our mixed feelings is the first step towards change. Rather than thinking that our future self will have all the willpower we need, let's get real and think through the obstacles we're likely to face so we're more likely to overcome them. It's helpful to write down the pros and cons of making the change and the pros and cons of not making the change. Here's a worksheet targeted for cutting back on alcohol, which can be used for any behavior change
Connect your behavior with your values. Another important principle of MI is connecting our behavior with our values. The idea is to notice discrepancies or gaps between what we value and what we actually do. For example, someone who's trying to stop smoking may think about the value of being healthy for his family. The gap between his action of smoking and his value of being healthy for his family may be a powerful motivator to hang on to during his cravings.
One way to tap into what you value most is to fill in the blank of this sentence, "I'm the kind of person who __________." This sentence helps us think about our identity and the person we want to be. Are we living out our values? Here's a great online tool to explore your core values.
When thinking of the change you want to make, increase your own "change talk." Change talk refers to statements made by the individual that express a desire, ability, reasons, or need for change. As it turns out, the most impactful words we hear about change are those we tell ourselves.
Increasing your inner change talk:
To clarify your desire, ask yourself, "What positive results would I like to see by making this change?"
To clarify your ability to make the change, ask yourself, "What skills do I need to make this change?"
To clarify your reasons for the desired change, ask yourself, "Why is this change important to me?"
To clarify your need for the change, ask yourself, "In what ways is making this change necessary for my (well-being/health/success/happiness)?"
Develop a Change plan. Motivational Interviewing focuses on helping people make and commit to a specific plan for change. The plan must take into account your goals, strengths, and resources. Developing a concrete plan increases the likelihood of successful behavior change. A plan works best if it is SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound). Here's a "how to" guide for making SMART goals.
I'd love to hear from you about a change you made that enhanced your life and how you were able to make it stick. You can add it in the comments or reply to this email.