THAT’S How You Do It: Glenn Frey, Grit, and the Teapot

We saw the Eagles play in New Orleans a few weeks back. In their 70s now, Don Henley, Joe Walsh, and Timothy B. Schmit sound amazing! The two newcomers, Vince Gill and Deacon Frey (Glenn’s son), also bring a new texture to the band.

My husband and I get obsessed when we see a great live performance, so we decided to watch the 2013 Showtime documentary “The History of the Eagles” as we were gearing up for the show. It’s an incredible story about how the band came together, split up in 1980, and reunited in 1994. It’s full of great interviews with the band members, historical golden nuggets, and pearls of wisdom.

One story, in particular, inspires in its simplicity and honesty. It’s about a teapot. The late Glenn Frey, a founder of the band, describes living in Southern California in the late 60s. Broke but full of dreams, he and JD Souther lived in a tiny apartment. In an even smaller basement, another broke, aspiring artist lived below them: Jackson Browne. You can hear the conviction in Frey’s voice as he tells the story of the powerful insight he learned from his neighbor a floor below. 

I learned from my floor exactly how to write songs because Jackson would get up and he’d play the first verse and first chorus, and he’d play it twenty times until he had it just the way he wanted, and then there’d be silence. And then I’d hear the teapot go off again, and it would be quiet for ten or twenty minutes. Then I’d hear him play again. And there was a second verse. And he’d work on the second verse and play it twenty times, then he’d go back to the top of the song, and he’d play the first verse, the first chorus, and the second verse another twenty times until he was really comfortable with it and he’d change a word here or there, and I’m up there going, “THAT’S how you do it! Elbow grease, you know, time, thought, persistence.”

What a great story! The song Jackson was working on was “Doctor My Eyes,” and his dogged determination, not just talent, inspired Frey and became the work ethic he and Don Henley used to create a string of hits that culminated in the best-selling album of the 20th century - “Their Greatest Hits (1971–1975).”

“Grit” is another word for Jackson’s focus and persistence. In her 2016 book, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, Angela Lee Duckworth puts it like this:

In sum, no matter the domain, the highly successful had a kind of ferocious determination that played out in two ways. First, these exemplars were unusually resilient and hardworking. Second, they knew in a very, very deep way what it was they wanted. They not only had determination, they had direction. It was this combination of passion and perseverance that made high achievers special. In a word, they had grit.

Getting Gritty

Duckworth describes how we can develop grit. But first, we need to foster our passion. Interests, as it turns out, aren’t found by a moment of insight but must be developed through time and effort. Time … that was Jackson’s teapot.

Second, Duckworth found that it’s not just that we practice; it’s how we practice. She points to the work of cognitive psychologist Anders Ericsson who highlights what he calls “deliberate practice,” which is a stretch goal. Once achieved, we keep finding new stretch goals. No matter the field, deliberate practice is what counts.  

The third component of grit is purpose, the intention to contribute to the well-being of others. To illustrate the power of purpose, Duckworth uses the parable of a bricklayer:

Three bricklayers are asked: “What are you doing?” 

The first says, “I am laying bricks.” 

The second says, “I am building a church.” 

And the third says, “I am building the house of God.” 

The first bricklayer has a job. The second has a career. The third has a calling. 

Duckworth talks about the difference between a job, a career, and a calling. A job is a necessity, a career describes the job as a stepping stone to other jobs, and a calling means that one’s work is an integral part of their life that makes the world a better place. What’s important is not the work itself but how we see our work.

Finally, grit requires a certain kind of hope. Gritty people have a type of hope that their efforts will improve their future. This hope is a powerful antidote to setbacks, which will surely come when you are on creative, gritty journeys. Those who believe their actions can improve tomorrow can rebound from their mistakes or failures. In fact, it’s the failures that often point to the road of success.

Duckworth talks about the research of Carol Dweck on growth versus fixed mindsets. Dweck says that we may not be aware of the theories we carry around about how the world works.

For example, someone with a fixed mindset believes people can’t change - and they can’t change. But someone with a growth mindset thinks people can change - and they can change.

People with a growth mindset believe in the capacity to change and grow. And like hope, a growth mindset allows us to rise up after we fall and keep evolving. After a while, there’s a sort of embracing of the fall because you know what’s coming next.

Take It to the Limit

I've listened to the Eagles non-stop since the concert, and I can’t quit thinking of the lyrics in “Take It to the Limit.” This song is about not giving up.

Former Eagle, Randy Meisner, explained: “The line ‘take it to the limit’ was to keep trying. You reach a point in your life where you feel you’ve done everything and seen everything - it’s part of getting old. And just to take it to the limit one more time, like every day just keep punching away at it.” As the song goes:

And when you’re looking for your freedom

(Nobody seems to care)

And you can’t find the door

(Can’t find it anywhere)

When there’s nothing to believe in

Still you’re coming back, you’re running back

You’re coming back for more

So put me on a highway

And show me a sign

And take it to the limit one more time

In any creative work, it’s easy to become frustrated and discouraged. Whether it’s the start-up that doesn’t yet have a customer, the blank computer screen of an author, or the song that won’t come together for the composer, we are all faced with these moments when we have to decide - job vs. calling, hopeless vs. hopeful, fixed vs. growth. What will we choose?

Here’s what Jackson Browne taught Glenn Frey (and me): choose hope, keep hammering out our song, and keep our teapot going.